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Issue link: https://digital.miamilivingmagazine.com/i/11585
ON THE SCENE South Beach: The Novel By Brian Antoni Where Neon Gets A Second Chance At Life Reviewed By Matthew Hoyt Weeks Brian Antoni’s South Beach: The Novel leaves audiences ready to invest in a trendy pair of Dior sunglasses, a few tubes of Banana Boat sunscreen, and a collection of thinly striped, oversized beach towels. Right from the second sentence of the first chapter, Antoni’s descriptive style is apparent as he characterizes his protagonist, Gabriel Tucker, a “twenty-nine-year-old rolling stone that collected a lot of moss; who attempted to live as cheaply as possible even though he was worth millions.” Needless to say, this Arian trust-fund vagabond epitomizes the quintessential South Beach socialite in the making. Due to a series of unfortunate events, which include his Uncle Ian’s sudden suicide and grandfather’s tragic passing, Gabriel loses his entire inheritance with the exception of a condominium named the Venus de Milo Arms. The once highly- acclaimed, architectural gem has become nothing more than “a decomposing nautical fantasy: five stories of flaking navy blue and white paint, wave-shaped friezes with porthole windows and a fake smokestack.” Adding insult to injury, the building’s sickly and decrepit structure possesses 378 code violations and requires approximately $800,000 in order to comply with the city’s ordinance policies. After all, 1950’s geometric-patterned terrazzo lobby floors can only increase the owner’s revenue so far! Furthermore, if the Venus de Milo Arms’ exterior suspends Einstein’s principles on fourth dimension time theory, then its residents must be just as unique, right? Here, Gabriel meets his supporting cast; one more eccentric than the next, just like the Art Deco buildings that comprise America’s Riviera. Antoni’s primary strength lies in his entirely over-the-top, yet highly believable characters. Gabriel’s companions and fellow Venus de Milo tenants, consist of Miss Levy, a Holocaust survivor (with a fetish for sugar) Audiences will love this novel for Antoni’s undeniable attention to detail towards historic South Beach architecture. He cleverly describes marquee buildings such as the Surfcomber, Delano, Colony, Clevelander, The Park Central, and The Tides as “aging cakes, streamlined boxes, and great beached steamships decorated with an endless supply of glass blocks, Vitrolite, chrome, and stainless steel.” Antoni’s vivid depictions of South Beach’s commercial skyline are infused with a dynamic sense of authenticity that will satisfy both South Beach locals and tourists alike. In addition to his bold concrete images, Antoni also runs the gamut of inhabitants who claim this “sunny place for shady people” as their home. The spectrum consists of a “smorgasbord of beefy hairless hard bodies, anorexic models, surfer dudes, twinks, hippie chicks, slumming millionaires, developers, artists, Goths, punkers, whores, neighborhood freaks, street people, hustlers, Euroscraps, gangster girls, ravers, and drag queens.” At the heart of Antoni’s novel is and sassy fashionista (whose inspiration is derived from vintage checkered tablecloths); Skip, the homosexual SunStroker columnist who refers to male models as “mouthwatering garnish and parsley”; Pandora, the voiceless transvestite with a flawless complexion who smells of sweet gardenia; Jesus, a Cuban pimp who drifted to Miami on a Huck Finn assembled raft, only to become a future heroin addict; and Fabrizio, the famous Italian fashion designer who uses Jesus in a string of his campaigns, most notably Cuban-Rafter-Chic! The last major character is Marina, a former NYC artist with a flare for the dramatic, educated Art Deco activist, and breast cancer survivor. As Antoni’s plot twists and turns like crumpled footprints in the sand, Marina becomes the only minted mojito that can quench Gabriel’s salivating palate. a clever juxtaposition between the stereotypical South Beach image of “electrical sexual behavior and orgy-filled blender” with an overwhelming saturated sense of the American Dream. Each of his characters are soaked with baby-boomer optimism; which perfectly represents a town where wet colorful drinks serve as its most precious currency. Page after page, Antoni reminds us that our South Beach backyard is a “place where all ages come to be reborn, to remake themselves into whatever they want to be.” And as hard as it might be to swallow, it’s even a place where neon gets a second chance at life. If you don’t believe me, take another look at the intersection between Lincoln Road and Washington Avenue. The last time I did, I swear I saw Gabriel Tucker walk right past me.ML MIAMI LIVING 29