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Issue link: https://digital.miamilivingmagazine.com/i/1081080
[Laughs] Minor detail. MB: One of the parts of the book that my friend couldn't quite piece together was… why was I at my most vulnerable when my abuser came into my life. I'd just had Angel. She was two months old and then the monster came into my life. My friend and co-writer, Louise, was trying to figure out why I was feeling so vulnerable. Then it became, "Oh, you felt vulnerable because of the Eddie situation, so let's talk about that." I wanted to be able to talk about it and express it. I didn't even fully understand it when we star ted talking about it; what went wrong and how it all kind of fell apar t. It was impor tant for me to put it all down on paper and do it from my recollection, to remind myself that I do know what a loving, respectful relationship is, because I had that and much more with Eddie. It was so impor tant for me to put pen to paper with that, because I also had never spoken about it. I wanted people to know, and I wanted my daughter to know that it wasn't just a wham, bam, thank you ma'am, and let's move on to the next. It was a very loving cour tship. It didn't end well, but it was a major love story that was one of the biggest love stories of my life. And your mom is, of course, back in your life… MB: Yes, and she's actually just about to drop the kids off at school now. You guys are totally back on track again with your relationship? MB: Yes. When my dad died, even though those circumstances were horrendous, and it was hear tbreaking… my dad was at the point of no return. He was going to die and that was that. His death brought my whole entire family and my friends back together again. It was quite a serendipitous time, because it brought us all back together in a way that was sad, but really happy in the fact that we could all be in the same room together. For my mom, it's been very healing. She, like my 19-year-old, wanted to write her own chapter in my book. And they both did the audio for my book. My mom and my daughter both really wanted to be a par t of this. You're about to run off to a Spice Girls meeting later. Can you share? MB: It's about the tour. We put six shows up for grabs and we ended up doing thirteen because they sold out. We're going to be talking about staging, choreography, and our dancers. It will be all of us on tour, but without Victoria. She sends all of us her blessing, but she has always been adamant that performing is not really her thing. She's busy with her family and her fashion empire. I still have hope that at some point she joins us, but as of right now she's not. The Scary Spice of twenty years ago was brash and bold, and very tell-it-like-it-is. You were the tough girl. After everything you've been through so publicly with heartbreak and abuse and people seeing that you are quite vulnerable, now who will Scary Spice be as you head out on the road in 2019? MB: I'm still the same. A little more educated and more aware, and I would say more honest, which could be misinterpreted as being even more brash and even more loud [laughs]. What qualities will you now look for at some point when you want to find love again? MB: I don't even want to think about that! It's not on my radar. I'm very happy being single. I'm raising three kids, I'm on my own healing journey and I'm busy with work. I'm the only one paying my bills, and I'm paying the monster's bills also every month and the lawyer's bills. I'm focusing on the time I have off from work, just being with my kids. I've just put up the Christmas tree two days ago and I'm putting decorations all over the house, and it's nice. What is the rainbow or silver lining in the cloud for you? MB: It would have to be my kids. They're the ones that I wake up to every morning and I go to sleep with every night. It's reassuring for me that they're happy, they're on track academically, they're on track with me as far as our mother/ daughter relationships go. I'm so very, very proud of them. Also, what has been eye opening and reassuring for me is the fact that Women's Aid (www.womensaid.org.uk) had made me a patron of their federation. They deal with these kinds of abusive relationships. They find you help, they find you refuge, they help you get educated, they help you if you need help through the legal system. They reassure you that you are not alone, that this happens a lot, and they make you feel safe. ML If you or someone you care about is currently in an abusive relationship, and in need of assistance, please contact womensaid.org.uk in the UK or The National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org in the U.S. for help and resources Brutally Honest by Melanie Brown with Louise Gannon is available in bookstores and on Amazon; download the audible version through Audible.com.