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PEOPLE 98 MIAMI LIVING Do people recognize you more from your stand-up or from TV? "I think Middle America probably knows me from TV, but definitely in New York, L.A., San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle, they know my stand-up, for sure. Some people don't even know I'm on TV." What do you think fans would be surprised to find out about you? "They're always surprised that I don't drink. Always. They think I do cocaine. I have people come up to me afterwards, 'Hey, what are you on?' I'm like, 'Nothing.' This girl was like, 'You're crazy up there.' I'm like, 'Yeah, it's an act! What are you talking about?' People don't believe me, but it's 100% true." Since you don't drink, what are some of your vices? "Coffee. Always. All day. Ya know the comedian Ron White? He's always got Scotch on stage, and I always have an iced coffee —that's my Ron White thing." What are you watching on TV? "I like watching thrillers, like if somebody dies and then they gotta find out who did it. I wanna be like, Oooh, I wonder who did it? Anything British where they're trying to figure out who killed someone. Oh shit, I'm going to figure it out before they figure it out! Happy Valley, Broadchurch, you don't know 'em because they're all British, The Fall (all on Netflix). On Netflix, when you're done with the eight episodes, they'll be, What about this? And you're like, Oh yeah! Is it British? I'm going to watch it." So you have an affinity for the British? "They're good actors. There was this one —this is when I knew I'm only watching British shit— this one scene on Broadchurch, something happened to this lady's kid and she starts crying and falling down. You're like, Wow, she's so good, how do you do that as an actor? She's crying so hard that she starts dry-heaving like uggghh (he gags). It was so uncomfortable and good. I was like, I wanna do dry-heave acting! That's my goal, to get so good at acting that when somebody tells me some shit I just ball and start dry-heaving and the people on-set are like, 'Oh shit, should we get him some water?' And the director's like, 'No, keep going, keep going.'" This is where you're getting your acting tips? "Yeah, British thrillers." What are you listening to? "I only listen to hip-hop. I love Tech N9ne, Tupac. I also like Hall & Oates from the 80s and Phil Collins. But most of the time, I don't listen to too much music. I listen to talk Radio or NPR or I have a Podcast, I listen to all my stand-up. No, I'm kidding – in the car listening to me." because she wouldn't realize it was about her since it was in passing, he tells me. "When that happened, it was six months later when I started talking about it. What is it with people who want to prove their point? And nobody gives a shit! I was like, there's probably something funny about that. Every day I would think about that. That's so annoying and stupid. Finally, I was like I'm going to talk about it 'cause it's annoying," he explains about how it ended up in his act. I nod. Do you find comedy to be cathartic —to get all of that stuff off your chest? "Yeah," he pauses to think about it. "I suppose so, because I don't really have all these demons. I don't really have a stressful life, so it's hard to say something's cathartic because I'm kinda carefree, usually. But yeah, I do. I think if I didn't have that I might be stressed. I've done stand-up for nine and a half years; the longest I've gone without performing is eight days in a row. It's just so what I do. I don't not want to go on. It's just too fun." He's also really into laughing. "I hate not laughing. It sucks when people are all serious and shit, like when they want to talk about religion and politics. I hate that shit, man. Whhhaaawhhat about dicks or something?! What about the dicks in my phone? People want to talk about politics. What about the dicks in my phone?!" Because of his "fuck this, fuck that-kinda humor," Chris thinks that some people don't realize this is just a part of his act. He gets serious for a moment. "I really love people. I have that part about me where I'm like I don't want to talk about politics, like I said, I just want to laugh. But I'm not a dick —do you know what I mean? I still appreciate you and your thoughts. I think people think because I'm aggressive on stage, I might be off stage and I'm not really. I'm a softie," he confesses. "I love people, like, my family. I love my family, or like my girl, I love her. Or like my dogs." ML Tell Us More Photo Credit: Darren Michaels / NBC