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politeness. A lot of people burn the candle at both ends, and that’s great if that works for them. I can’t live that way. I have to prioritize. I know I want to do the fall fashion weeks, so that means I’m saying no to other trips that time of year. I know I want to work on my creative projects during the day, so I say no to lunch and shopping invitations. I don’t book day-time and evening events on the same day. I have to choose. It might feel like I’m missing out sometimes, but I remind myself that what I have is better for me. I have to think through consequences in a way that most people don’t. If I go to lunch, I’ll be tired and I won’t want to write afterwards. So, if I want to write today, I’m not going to lunch. You’ll never catch me going to a dinner one hour after my plane lands. And that’s okay! I don’t need to be at every event to have a meaningful life. It’s easy to get caught up in the FOMO cycle when you live in a place like Miami, but that’s a false God to worship. I listen to my body. If I don’t feel well, I’m not coming. I am only close to people who understand that. If someone makes me feel bad about my health needs or tries to pressure me, they are not for me. You can’t write a whole book if you’re out all day and night. Writing comes from a quiet, introspective place. It’s because of my choice to honor my body that I have the mental space necessary to write and create. My body forces me to stay home, but I need to be home to write anyways. I get a lot of inspiration in those quiet moments as well as when I’m reading or watching TV. It works for me, not against me. ML: You’ve spoken about wanting others with chronic illness to feel seen and heard. What do you think is still misunderstood about invisible illnesses like Lupus, and how can we as a society show up better, for ourselves and for others? Caitlin: Chronic illness isn’t linear. Recovery isn’t linear. Progress isn’t linear. It’s tempting to try to make little rules for other people and get upset when they violate the rules you made for them. If I say that I can’t spend much time in the sun, but I post a picture outside in the sun, does that make me a hypocrite? No. It means I was lucky enough to experience some Vitamin D that day, even if for only five minutes, because I was feeling well enough to do so. There will be weeks that I cannot go outside at all. There will be good weeks where I can tolerate it. People love to ask, “Are you better now?” I’m better now, sometimes. Other times, I’m not. My health is an erratic line on a graph with no clear trend. Please believe your friends who suffer from any kind of chronic illness. Another thing that needs to be more widely understood is that sensory overload is real. Everyone knows what sensory overload feels