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have the language for it, but my nervous system was chronically activated, even when there was no reason for it to be. This state is called sympathetic dominance. I was stuck in a chronic stress response because of the stressful life I’d been living. Switching over into my parasympathetic nervous system and finding my calm, took a lot of inner work. I had to reexamine my values. Instead of prioritizing productivity and perfection above all else, I had to find a way to appreciate calm and nurture my mental health. With the help of extensive therapy, I shifted my responses and learned to understand the value of taking things slowly. I take my sleep seriously, too. I no longer feel any shame about the hours I sleep, when I go to bed, or when I wake up. I feel lucky to be able to sleep however long my body needs to. The outside world places a lot of value on early risers and hyper-productivity. I mean, our society really loves morning people, you know? But why is it inherently better to wake up in the earliest hours of the day? To get as much done as possible? Is that the goal? What’s actually getting done and being accomplished, though? Sometimes it’s just being busy for the sake of being busy, which is actually the opposite of productive. I never lose sight of what an honor and a privilege it is to be able to care for myself and my body, and if I need to spend the day on the couch resting, I do it. ML: Fashion can be viewed as armor, expression, rebellion, or escape. What does luxury fashion mean to you, and how has your style evolved as a form of self-expression through your health journey? Caitlin: Fashion is all of those things for me, so it’s “and” not “or.” I’ve always been into clothes. And shoes. And purses. And costumes. I’ve always been into taking pictures of my outfits and creating complementary backgrounds—I still have the proof, too, a lot of Polaroids from back in the day! At this point in my life, I surround myself with people who understand and share my deep appreciation for fashion, people who know it’s not shallow or silly. It’s like when Miranda Priestly tells off Andy for laughing at the seriousness with which they debate two belts: “This… ‘stuff’? Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you.” You know the rest. On the one hand, I understand why Andy laughs. It’s a belt. On the other hand, it’s art. Either you appreciate the art or you think it’s stupid because it’s not “curing cancer,” as Andy complains to her boyfriend Nate (who is the true villain of the movie, by the way). The fashion community values individuality and uniqueness, which is a reversal of the conformist value systems of the legal industry. If you think self-expression is valueless, the fashion community is not for you. I am not for you. This is very much a rebellion against the system that made me sick. Rebellion usually involves some kind of armor. For me, it’s my sunglasses. I have severe light