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hundredths of a second as a competitive swimmer my entire life, and now I'm trying to slow life down. That's interesting. You're really not used to that. MP: No, not at all. [Laughs.] Are you completely sober today? Have you sworn off alcohol? MP: We don't drink in our household at all. There are some bad childhood memories of my father [drinking] or seeing other things like that. I'm somebody who is very conscious of not having my boys go through some of the same things that I lived through and had to see. It's hard to still live with some of those feelings, even 20 years down the road. When I was a kid, my dad didn't know how to handle certain situations. I feel like, at times, I get very irritable in certain situations because of it, and I'll go back to my childhood self and realize, "Oh, this is probably why I'm feeling this way right now. It's because of something that scared me from my childhood and this situation is kind of poking at something." I have to take a deep breath and be still with it. That is what I teach my sons. When you feel overwhelming emotions, you just have to take a second to realize what they are. Without alcohol, I have had to process those emotions that have come up from my childhood. In this documentary film, The Weight of Gold, you appear in, narrate, and also executive produced, you show a darker side of the Olympics and Olympians? Are you at all nervous about how the International Olympic Committee will react to the film? MP: This is a project that I was super pumped and excited about. Honestly, after coming off of the 16 Olympic games, being able to see that there are so many other athletes that are going through something just like what I went through, I feel strongly that something has to be done about it. Athletes along with myself want to help make a change and I was very fortunate to have 20 athletes jump on board this film. Since then, we have had even more athletes open up about their experiences. The film is very real and raw. We are going to have to change this dynamic if we want to see everything continue to grow in Olympic sports. What change do you hope to see because of people watching this documentary? MP: I hope people take our mental health just as seriously as our physical health and athletic ability. If the powers that be care so much about our physical well-being, then our mental well-being should be a part of that equation. If our mental well-being isn't there, then our physical well-being won't be anywhere close to our potential. They both go hand-in-hand. Right now, the mental health resources and support is not there, and it has never been there. I guess if we were not performing, then we don't get the help we need. And you start to feel like a prize racehorse. MP: Like a product. You see in this film there are thousands of kids that are waiting to take our shoes, and as soon as we are done, the door slams on us and we are forgotten about. Personally, I have been extremely fortunate. Yes, I struggle mentally, but my performances have allowed me to continue to do things where other people are still potentially not getting a job because they've forgone college, they've forgone their whole life to put into this. Would you let your kids be professional athletes or take on the kind of journey that you took on? MP: I don't think it's fair for them to have to follow in my footsteps. If they are going to be 100 times better than me, then, hell yes! I would love to see it. I would love to be there and be a part of it, if they love it. But I don't want to force them into something they don't want. I found swimming as a kid and loved it. I did have some rocky points, but I absolutely enjoyed every moment. I want them to follow their passion and love what they do. What do you think you came into this life as Michael Phelps to learn, and what did you come here to teach? MP: I think I have partially found some of it, but I don't think I've figured out all of it. I do think this next chapter of my life is going to be way bigger than what I have ever done before. I think bringing awareness to the mental health side of things could potentially be bigger than my swimming ever was. I don't think that is the whole picture, and I don't know what the rest of the picture looks like yet. Isn't life's purpose to continually be finding out what it is, but we are never supposed to really find out what it is while we are living it? I like that. MP: If you obsess over your purpose too much then it almost becomes irrelevant and obsolete. It should naturally just occur over time. I don't know exactly what my life's purpose is because I feel like I am still trying to find it. I might not fully know, but I feel like it's not something I can go out and search for. It will be presented to me whenever it is ready to be presented. I get that. MP: I am still trying to process what happened over the last 16 years. The one thing for me throughout my career was that I was always visualizing my next goal, and that is important. I was always prepared for what was going to happen, but I was never future tripping. I try to live in the moment as much as possible. And now, that is something I am trying to do outside of the water. I feel like I have probably taken more strokes in the water than I have taken steps on land. The Weight of Gold premiered on Wednesday, July 29 at 9 pm ET on HBO. ML Allison Kugel is a syndicated entertainment columnist and author of the memoir, Journaling Fame: A memoir of a life unhinged and on the record. Follow on Instagram @theallisonkugel and at AllisonKugel.com.