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what it was, so I clicked on it. They happened to be having a training in L.A. that weekend, so I signed up… I just fell in love with it. I feel like it fell into my lap, like it was just meant for me to find this." Initially, her family and friends were openly worried about her being around people who are dying, since she already was a little low. "It literally brought such a light in my life because I look at death as like, it's the same to me as giving birth. You're literally helping birth that person into that next phase, whatever comes next. It's all just like a big circle to me." Spending time with people who know that death is near has been a fulfilling and illuminating experience for Torrey. The most important thing volunteers can offer patients is a listening ear as patients often simply want to talk. Over time, she noticed that no matter how much or how little money her patients had, they never talked about their jobs or promotions, instead, they spoke endlessly about those they loved, those they regretted not loving, their experiences, or where they had travelled. "It made me promise myself, no matter what or where I was in my career, I'd always put my life first and love first. And it just gave me another purpose, besides just auditioning for the next job and being on set. I'm super grateful for it." Her newfound passion almost led her to a career change. Sorta. On one occasion, Torrey tended to a hospice patient at a funeral while the patient's family dealt with their guests. "I loved being at the funeral so much, I was like, 'I think I want to be a funeral director!' If I wasn't acting, I would totally do that. But you have to go back to school for two years." Torrey wishes that people openly discussed death so that it isn't such a taboo subject and so people aren't afraid of it. "Nobody is getting out of here alive. Nobody. I'm very comfortable around people who are grieving, like I don't take it on." The idea of opening a "welcoming, non-expensive, progressive funeral home, where you don't charge people $20,000 for a freakin' casket and you can be buried as a tree, which is the way I want to be buried," really appealed to the actress. "I just felt I'd be very good at it." Her little sister Maryelle went to makeup school and offered her skills to the potential family business. "I was like, 'OK, we can have our own little family thing,'" she says with a big smile. "But yeah, I never got around to it." So, what do you think happens after death? "I don't know." She furrows her brow and ponders the question. "I don't know. I don't know. I am very spiritual, but I am of the belief that all things are possible. So, maybe we die, and it's just lights out. Or maybe we die, and we keep coming back until we achieve enlightenment... I believe that everybody comes here with an assignment and maybe you do keep coming back until you pass through that assignment… I have no idea. I don't think that we die and go up and see a white man in freakin' heaven or a red-tailed devil downstairs. I also don't believe the whole belief that God is a white man with a beard, that to me is a little silly," she laughs. "Everybody's got their own beliefs. I don't know. But, I can't deny that there's certain people that I've met and I'm like, Oh, I've known you before in a life, for sure. Like the guy who plays Will Halstead on my show, Nick Gehlfuss, there's no doubt in my mind that he and I have been brother and sister in a life before. We're so familial and sibling- like. You just know you've travelled with certain people before, so that to me in itself is like, I don't know how else you would really explain that." As we dive deeper into her philosophy on life, the afterlife, and crystals (Torrey keeps a lot of crystals on her while on set to protect herself from all the different energies bouncing around), Torrey points out that there is one thing that she wholeheartedly believes, that we are all connected. "I think that where a lot of human depression comes from is that people forget that we're all just a part of one bigger thing. And I think that's what causes a lot of anxiety and depression, is that feeling. So, when somebody is treating you poorly or something, it's like their human personality almost has like a film buildup around their soul. And if you could just remember that beyond that, in their soul, we're all just connected and one, it's almost like if you can see through it and see that, I think that people would treat each other a lot more kindly." It's profound conversations like this that fuel my soul, and since Torrey is a Gemini (who are super compatible with Aquarians like me), I am not surprised that we share the same point of view on all that we discussed. One concept that she lives by really stuck with me. "It's based around this book, A Course in Miracles… the whole concept that everything is love, everything that exists outside of love is fear, therefore it doesn't exist and it's all just an illusion. That is a concept that I fully live by. The first line in that book that I loved so much, it said, "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God and God to me is love." It's kind of a trippy concept, 'cause it's super abstract, but when you really settle into it, you're like, OK cool, so all this crazy bullshit, it doesn't really exist… It's really cool to be able to center yourself in that." ML